There were ten of us the other day. It was a case of the next generation catering to the previous generation, which in this case was the old man’s generation. What is a generation? In this case it was a matter of child, niece and nephew catering to parents, uncles and aunts. Age differences were not that great in our case. The four of us in the old man’s generation ranged from age 84 to 90, while the youngest of the six “kids” may have been 60 and the oldest 76.
Practically contemporaries, one might say, but generational divides were observable even within the two groups. Lifestyle differences are notable especially between those in the old man’s generation and the younger of the “kids”. Though the oldsters were only married once and achieved sixty plus years of togetherness—for better and for worse—only one couple of the next generation identified here did the same, with fifty plus years of togetherness. Among the others we counted a total of at least six divorces or separations and if the old man’s descending generations not at the gathering and other extended family members were included, many more would have to be added.
Even with a group of only ten around a tea table, conversations can be a problem. The conversation ice-breaker was the nature of the goodies provided by the youngsters and of course the graceful tea table arrangement and tea provided by the host oldsters. The simple cookie or two and pot of tea originally requested and promised had turned into various home-baked cookies and loaves and fruit. The old man is often disciplined enough to decline such richness but risked consuming more than justified due to a subconsciously pre-arranged hypoglycaemia for the occasion. They were, after all, made from family recipes of the past and that led to other family reminiscences, which the youngsters would not often share with their own next generations.
Given the Rapid Aging Syndromes of the old man and his wife and my wife’s relatively recent emergency cardiac problems, health issues dominated after the ice-breaker reminiscences. As my wife is still in recovery mode, though her improving appetite for the goodies soon became apparent, the kids wanted details, so without allowing my wife to make light of her condition, I managed to capture the entire audience with what I hoped was a succinct description of what led to the emergency, the trip to the doctor, my drive from there to the Hospital Emergency Ward, the breathing difficulties, the failing and erratic heart rate, the attention received, the transfer to the Cardiac Care Ward, the arterial stint inserted to stabilize her condition, the monitored transfer and return by ambulance to a distant trauma centre the next day for implant of a heart pacemaker device, the return home the following day, and the slow recovery to ordinary activity since that day.
The health conversations evolved into the already fragile health status of the oldsters and a number of the kids present and references to the inevitable consequences of that fragility for all of us. I sensed an obvious discomfort with that subject and various separate conversations with loved ones nearby soon ensued.
With his defective hearing and steadfast refusal to purchase hearing aids the sometimes whispered conversations with him and between others at such gatherings can be a problem for the old man. However, I have been known to intervene loudly and rudely if the revealed identity of a subject turns out to be a current public figure I do not admire. As happened at this gathering, my rude intervention is usually dealt with quickly by the quiet embarrassment of that figure’s admirers around the table, including my wife.
Generally and in this gathering, sensitive divides in both politics and faith exist between generations and even between family members otherwise close in affection. They are generally best left un-discussed. Among us were both political liberals and opposing libertarians. As a sometimes confused but traditional social liberal and economic libertarian, the old man did risk a political reference to Obama. Fortunately wiser heads soon intervened to permit a quick escape from that taboo. Fortunately I left the faith question untouched.
I did make known the old man’s dislike of the changes brought about in modern society by the many current technological advances now running modern industry as well as the global economy and international politics. I expressed my disgust at the ubiquitous omnipresence of the various mobile gadgets like the various smart phones and other communication devices. Must everyone be connected to “friends” or bosses or employees 24 hours a day and 365 days a year? Though some in the gathering did agree with the constant use of cell phones, no one expressed any real concern about that need to be always communicating with someone, not by personal touch or eye to eye but most often through some wireless device. What is wrong with being alone once in a while? I have seen people at the same table in restaurants sending text messages to each other and another relative across the continent admits to sending emails to his wife sitting at another computer in the same room! The old man’s mind boggles. I found little agreement in our gathering about that. Though hardly conspicuous at the gathering, at least three wireless voice or text message calls reached our small group in those two hours.
Neither I nor anyone else in the group brought up the question of the environmental, health and privacy concerns involved in the rapid spread of microwave transmitters. No one at our gathering, no government body with jurisdiction, and few members of the global population appear to have any worry about those concerns. Even fewer seem to realize that we are on the brink of experiencing the Big Brother dystopian governments predicted in George Orwell’s 1949 novel, Nineteen Eighty-four. The old man has not been helpful to her but he is thankful that at least a few activists like another niece, a cousin of the youngsters at our gathering, is working heart and soul to counter the uncritical acceptance of the bland industry and world government assurances about the safety of all this new technology. I urge everyone to take a look at her group’s extensive information on the subject at: http://www.citizensforsafetechnology.org/
Whatever the generational, lifestyle, religious or political differences among us all at the gathering, let it be known that the old man and his wife have long accepted each one of them as they are and we love them dearly. We certainly felt the warmth and love coming our way throughout the gathering. It was another memorable afternoon among the many that have become a memorable annual tradition with this particular family segment since the nineties and I look forward to the next gathering in that tradition with all of them next year.
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